Let My People Pee

The world is coming to an end.

Our transportation system is archaic. Our bridges and tunnels are too scary to think about while you are using them. A BA in History costs a half million dollars and you get to say “Do you want fries with that?” when it is conferred. We haven’t won a war since we dropped the bomb on Hiroshima and Obama is probably going over there today to apologize.

All of this is going on and what is cutting into Donald Trump’s television exposure? The federal government and the state of North Carolina are having a pissing contest!

I have to be honest, I never like using public toilets to begin with and now they’re taking all the joy out of it.

There is an unwritten rule when using a public bathroom, DON’T LOOK!

My game face for the urinal is much more severe than when I ride the IRT 6 train. I mean I look straight ahead, never a glance east or west. I don’t even make eye contact at the sink washing my hands. However, I do take note when someone skips out without so much as a bird bath attempt to sanitize.

Now we have Big Government telling us how to use the potty and I fear people will be looking.

So, what do I have to do to assure my fellow peesters? Do I have to bulk up and walk like a defensive end? Do I have to lower my voice a full octave? Suppose I have to use the booth? Will I be a suspected transgressor?

I have to say there have been times when the men’s room has been unavailable and the women’s  room seemed mighty appealing. Would I have been wrong to use the facility?

I remember that time at the Brendan Byrne arena at a St. John’s game. It was half-time, I grabbed my eight year old son by the hand and made a mad dash to the men’s room…or so I had thought.

We both survived the ordeal.

I’m thinking the rest of you will as well…Just Don’t Look!

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