My wife and I moved to Florida in January. After living in East Quogue, in the Hamptons, for over 33 years you would think we had a major life adjustment to experience. We really didn’t at first.

The entire month of January was basically R and R. We were exhausted from all that we went through getting our house emptied of a lifetime of memories. I was scared that I would have seller’s remorse once I was no longer living in East Quogue, but, as I told our children, we sold our house not our home.

Nevertheless, we did leave all our friends and family behind. That was hard to take. But somehow we survived and got a nice tan to boot.

Knowing full well that friends and family would accompany us on our new journey made it easier. Three of my nieces, Patty, Kathy, and Noreen, were down a few weeks ago. Sean was down last week to help us unload our POD as was my niece Liz. Eileen’s sister, Aunt Mary is now with us so family is taken care of. Jeannine is down this weekend and Bryan is coming down Monday. My two sisters, Maureen and Barbara are in Stewart, just a few hours away as are two of Maureen’s daughters, Connie and Marybeth, and Barbara’s daughter Liz. My nephew Chip, Maureen’s son is also down here frequently.

Eileen’s brother Kevin and his wife Eileen are a half hour away and Eileen’s other brother Jimmy and his wife will be making an appearance in two weeks.

My long time friend Freddy is in nearby Venice and we have gotten together a few times. He helped me set up our gas grill, I handed him the screws.

Other friends also will be coming by I have no  doubt. John was down in February and I know he will be back. Mike will be coming down in October and again in March for Yankee Spring training. Lou will hopefully come down along with PJ maybe for the reunion PJ would host in Hampton Bays?

We have also made a few friends down here thanks to our long time friend, Connie who has introduced us to Tuesday Night Trivia which we play with her and Lucille, Connie’s sister, and Lucille’s husband Brian.

Connie also introduced us to Sue and Larry who have become good friends.


Despite all of this activity and company I had a unique, somewhat unsettling experience the other evening.

I was sitting on the lanai with Eileen looking out at our pool and the pond our property borders when I had an odd sensation. I felt as if I had been sitting on our deck in East Quogue having a Blue Point summer ale when I blinked and here I was sitting on a lanai with a pool. I had a complete life reset. What was is no more. What is presents an entirely new way of life.

I wasn’t experiencing remorse or anything that could be deemed painful but it was an odd feeling still the same.

I am not sure retiring and living in East Quogue would have been good for me. I think this reset of mine is just what I needed. I needed to have new routines, new things to do, new people to meet, a new way of life.

The beauty of it all is that I didn’t have to lose my old way of life. My family is still my family and I am in contact with them every day. We don’t see each other as frequently as I would like and the visits have to be arranged and booked but we will still get to see them. (I am secretly sending subconscious vibrations encouraging them to relocate to Bradenton so that may change the situation.)

I know I will have my friends in my life no matter where we live and I will be coming to NY for Yankee games and Jet games and for holidays so there will be opportunities for get togethers. (The Yankees are playing at home on my birthday so I am working on a plan…)

Resets are necessary sometimes. I have a MAC and sometimes I have to reboot to get it working again. Our garbage disposal wasn’t working and we hit the reset button and it works just fine.

I suppose that, in life, there is a distinction with self-inflicted resets and those thrust upon you by outside forces.

Mine was self-inflicted and has been a most pleasant experience with some minor inconveniences and bumps along the way. We have other resets thrust upon us that were life altering and not at all pleasant. You endure those and try to relish in your self-inflicted resets.

The one thing that has changed for me is relying on Facebook for social networking and contact. The entire Washington fiasco and the bitterness on both side of the political spectrum has caused me to shun the Facebook check in that I used to do on an hourly basis.

I tweet and rarely get any feedback which is kind of nice. It’s like shouting in a forrest and not caring if anyone hears you yelling or a tree falling

I suppose that is what happens in a reset.




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2 Responses to Reset

  1. Noreen Newell says:

    James i’ve been thinking about Brian and Jeannine and Sean so I’m delighted to read this tell them I’m sending them a psychic message to drive-by yesterday was Frances C.’s departure for her double fellowship overseas life which will bring her back we think December 11 or 15th . I just took a picture of her bed which was made and the rest of the master bedroom girls room which was an Autre chaos except for her bed which was made for my old college roommate I still have long chats with . I enjoyed reading about your reset got to go hello and love to Eileen

    • section6rowh says:

      I gave them your number and told them to get in touch. Bryan will find it hard as he is trying to work as much as possible and will be a TA in the fall. Jeannine is teaching summer school but she and Sean should be able to do something.

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